Am I With The Right Partner?

A friend once asked, "How do I know if I am with the right person?"

Well.. every relationship has a cycle; in the beginning, you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didnt have to do anything, thats why its called 'falling' in love. 

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my feet". Picture the expression, it implies that you were standing there, doing nothing and then something happened to you! Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience but after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. Its a natural cycle of every relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drives you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship. You will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?". As you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown. The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person. Its learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does not lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I am not saying that you couldnt fall in love with someone else. You could and temporarily you will feel better. But you will be in the same situation a few years later.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person, its learning to love the person you found. Sustaining love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort and energy. And most importantly, it demands wisdom. You have to know what to do to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is not a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), just as there are physical laws of the universe (gravity), there is also laws for relationship. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable. God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay and who you refuse to let go.